045 Empty

i realized recently that my personality disorder(s) affected my interpersonal relationships more than i thought.

when it comes to things like intimacy or sexuality i have so many anxieties.

i was made to believe that this was due to a lack of maturity, or at least, a lack of exposure.

the anxieties were merely ‘hangups’ that i had to ‘get over.’

except i never could get over them.

the chills that flood my chest never seem to stop no matter how much i try to convince myself these feelings are “immature”, “prudish”, or “problematic.”

i’ve come to accept this about myself.

i don’t know why i wrote all of this.